20 Signs Someone Had a Great Upbringing and It Shows

Written By Jill Taylor

Who we are and how we behave say a lot about our childhoods, the way our parents behaved, and their approach to discipline. Good manners, empathy, and a strong sense of responsibility are all qualities that are nurtured in childhood and can be signs of a healthy upbringing. While other factors play a role, here are 20 behaviors that strongly indicate someone was raised well.

Respectful Demeanor

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Respect for others and oneself is probably one of the most telling signs of having a good character and a solid, responsible upbringing. Anyone raised well will show respect for others, no matter their age, sex, race, or social status. They tend to use polite greetings, even for strangers, don’t interrupt, understand personal space requirements, and are attentive listeners.

Strong Morals

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According to My Kinderhouse, parents are crucial for instilling morality. They write, “Open and honest communication is vital in helping your child develop a strong moral compass.” A well-raised individual has a clear understanding of right and wrong. They are fair and act with integrity and honesty, even when it’s difficult or disadvantageous to themselves.

Kindness

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Children are excellent mimics and copy everything their primary caregivers do, from cleaning the house to interacting with others. So, kind and generous parents will be excellent role models for their kids, modeling these positive traits from a young age and consistently disapproving of selfish or mean behavior. People who were well-raised are often compassionate and thoughtful.

Responsibility

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Taking ownership of one’s actions is a sign of maturity, especially when we make mistakes or accidentally cause negative consequences for others. Good parenting is key to teaching young people responsibility, and a capable parenting approach will produce a child who is serious about their commitments, follows through on promises, and takes care of things properly.

Gratitude

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Being appreciative is essential for a satisfying, contented life and helps build strong social bonds. People who were taught to appreciate what they have and express gratitude for the good things in life are more likely to work hard to achieve their goals and less inclined to be entitled, lazy, or selfish. They’re often thankful for help, and they don’t forget to acknowledge the kindness of others.

Empathy

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Goodstart maintains that empathy is the most crucial skill parents can teach their children—the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Without empathy, adults can’t react appropriately or compassionately when others feel negative feelings like sadness, distress, or anger. Someone raised well is sensitive to the emotions of others, offers support, and never causes unnecessary pain.

Strong Work Ethic

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Parents who give their children whatever they want and never make them work for privileges or treats may produce entitled and lazy offspring. A capable parent encourages their kids to work hard for what they want and ensures they understand the value of effort and perseverance. These well-raised individuals approach tasks with dedication as adults and always strive to do their best.

Self-Discipline

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Children are not born with willpower or the ability to regulate their emotions, so they must learn and develop these important life skills as they grow up. Someone raised right has self-control and appreciates the value of delayed rewards and making responsible choices, even if they aren’t instantly pleasurable! They are often mentally strong when facing temptation.

Healthy Self-Esteem

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A loving and supportive environment is essential for fostering a sense of self-worth and personal value. Well-raised individuals aren’t arrogant or boastful, but they have an inner confidence and belief in themselves that comes from having parents who saw the best in them and never put them down or insulted them. They rarely require external validation to feel good about themselves.

Good Communication Skills

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Effective communication is vital for building strong relationships, and it’s a skill we copy and initially practice with our parents or caregivers. UNICEF advises parents, “Use language that is understandable for… child[ren] and appropriate to their age. Be clear [and] specific, and do not use derogatory words.” Well-raised children take their good communication skills into adulthood.

Sense of Humor

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Laughing at yourself without causing offense is a life skill that really aids likability and social success. People raised well use humor to lighten the mood and build a rapport with others but are never rude or hurtful—they understand the difference between playful fun and mockery. They’re often self-confident enough to laugh at themselves and don’t take life too seriously.

Adaptability

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Sadly, individuals from chaotic, abusive, or unpredictable childhood homes tend to be less resilient and adaptable because of their stressful upbringings. In contrast, well-raised individuals have the mental confidence and familial support to adapt when life ‘throws them a curveball.’ They’re often cool under pressure and can bounce back from adversity or mistakes.

Healthy Boundaries

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People raised with a strong sense of self-worth understand the importance of setting healthy boundaries. They can say no to unreasonable requests and protect their time and energy. They respect the boundaries of others and avoid being overbearing or intrusive.

Open-Mindedness

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Tolerant and accepting parents will often raise kids who are open to new ideas and perspectives. ParentCo states that open-minded children appreciate diversity rather than fearing it and are comfortable interacting with people who look, act, or sound differently from those they’re used to. This makes them less likely to discriminate or stereotype others as they grow up.

Basic Cleanliness

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While plenty of slobs have good upbringings, a general disrespect for cleanliness and tidiness can often reflect values instilled in childhood. Someone raised right understands the importance of personal hygiene and keeping their living space reasonably organized, and they care about what others think or how comfortable they are in their home or personal space.

Table Manners

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Learning proper table etiquette may seem old-fashioned, but it demonstrates respect for others and an awareness of unwritten social rules. Someone raised well knows how to use utensils correctly, avoids talking with their mouth full, and chews with their mouth closed. They’re mindful of what’s appropriate in different dining situations, from casual family dinners to formal occasions.

Sportsmanship

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Healthy competition and sportsmanship need to be developed at a young age to avoid creating adults who are boastful winners, angry losers, or even willing to cheat to get ahead. Someone raised well wins and loses with grace and doesn’t make others feel bad for their performance, even rivals. They play fair, congratulate the victor, and accept defeat without excuse.

Patience

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Someone who was raised well typically has strong emotional regulation and can control their urges or delay gratification when necessary or beneficial. They tend to be good at waiting their turn, rarely interrupt others, and can manage their own desires without giving in to their primitive instincts. This maturity and level-headedness are often the result of decent parenting.

Positivity

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Negative childhood experiences, poor role models, and traumatic events at a young age can all make a person understandably more anxious and depressed in later life. For those lucky enough to have been raised responsibly and with love, a positive attitude comes much more readily. They tend to be more lighthearted and less likely to expect the worst or complain.

Lifelong Learner

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Children are naturally curious, and those who are raised well have a thirst for knowledge and an innate curiosity that isn’t dulled as they reach adulthood. Good caregivers understand the importance of a good education, alternative sources of information, and critical thinking, so they often encourage things like reading, debate, problem-solving, and learning new skills.

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