Parenting is hard; no one can deny that. And sadly, in all its overwhelming complexities, there are things we do that seem right but simply aren’t. Here are 18 common parenting “tips” you should think twice about before applying to your children’s upbringing.
Rigid Schedules
Creating strict schedules looks like the perfect way to instill discipline in your children, but what you do only puts them under significant stress. Having a schedule does bring predictability, and hence certainty, into your children’s daily lives. However, you allow them respond positively to unexpected changes (without anxiety) with more adaptable routines.
Overpraising
Research shared by the New York Times on overpraising reveals that “children felt pressured to live up to their parents’ praise, and this in turn could lead to panic and anxiety.” Overpraising could also breed feelings of entitlement in your children and make them develop a less realistic self-image. Striking a balance between praise and constructive criticism is key.
Helicopter Parenting
A term used to describe when a parent tries to control a child’s every activity at every moment, helicopter parenting only stifles this child’s ability to make independent decisions. An NLM study shares that it’s been linked to anxiety and/or depression in the US, Europe, and Asia.
Comparing Siblings
Comparing one child to another can breed resentment and low self-esteem. Every child is unique and should be appreciated for their individual strengths. You should foster a supportive environment where each child feels valued, as this helps build their confidence, sense of self-worth, and personal growth.
Punishing Mistakes Harshly
When you implement severe punishments for mistakes, you instill fear rather than discipline. Children learn better through guidance and by understanding the consequences of their actions. Hence, positive reinforcement and calm discussions about behavior should be your go-tos when teaching children right from wrong.
Using Bribes
Offering rewards for good behavior might seem effective initially. But it can lead to manipulation, as your children might start expecting something in return for every good deed. Encouraging intrinsic motivation by explaining the benefits of good behavior leads to more genuine and consistent actions.
Ignoring Emotions
You teach your child to suppress emotions when you dismiss his or her feelings. It’s essential to acknowledge and validate everyone’s emotions, as this provides a safe space for expression. By doing this—i.e., helping children understand and manage their feelings—you build their emotional intelligence and provide healthy coping mechanisms.
Excessive Screen Time
Interactive play, reading, and outdoor activities are crucial for well-rounded growth, and relying on screens to keep children occupied can negatively affect their social and cognitive development. You should set limits on screen time instead to ensure children develop a variety of skills and become more balanced and engaged individuals.
Expecting Perfection
As Forbes also shares, holding children to unrealistic standards can cause undue stress and anxiety. Encouraging effort and perseverance over perfection helps children develop a growth mindset. This approach fosters resilience and a love for learning, rather than fear of failure. What’s more, you also help them develop a healthier attitude towards challenges and personal achievements.
Overloading Activities
Packing a child’s schedule with too many activities can lead to burnout. It’s important for children to have free time to relax and explore their own interests, and ensuring a balance between structured activities and downtime protects their overall well-being and boosts creativity. You also allow children to develop at their own pace.
Solving All Problems
Also, know that when you solve every problem your child has, you deprive him or her of valuable learning opportunities. Allowing them to face challenges and find solutions necessary instead builds resilience and critical thinking skills. Only provide guidance when necessary, but let them lead even when you do this to properly develop their independence.
Discouraging Risk-Taking
Shielding children from all risks can limit their ability to handle uncertainty. Safe risk-taking, like trying new activities, teaches valuable life skills and makes them more confident. Hence, you should also encourage children to step out of their comfort zone. While doing this, though, ensure they’re safe.
Enforcing Gender Stereotypes
Imposing traditional gender roles can restrict a child’s interests and self-expression. What you should do instead, to help them develop a strong sense of identity, is to allow your children to explore their passions freely. Encouraging a variety of activities and interests regardless of gender promotes inclusivity and supports well-rounded development.
Using Food as a Reward
Using food as a reward or punishment for your child’s behavior can create unhealthy eating habits, according to the University of Rochester. A healthy relationship with food involves regular meals and treats without conditions attached, as this fosters balanced eating habits and encourages a positive approach to nutrition and health.
Focusing on Academics Only
Extracurricular activities, social skills, and emotional well-being are important, and emphasizing academic success alone can neglect these other areas of development. When you encourage a holistic approach to growth, you ensure your children develop into well-rounded individuals with diverse skills, which could potentially give them more fulfillment in life.
Being a Friend, Not a Parent
Prioritizing friendship over parenting can undermine authority and boundaries. While it’s important to have a positive relationship with your child, maintaining clear parental roles provides structure and guidance. Balancing warmth with firmness fosters respect and security, helping children understand limits and develop respect for authority.
Shielding from Failure
You prevent children from learning resilience when you protect them from every failure. Experiencing setbacks teaches valuable life lessons and coping strategies. And because of this, to build perseverance and strength to overcome the inevitable challenges of life, it’s important to support children through their failures and encourage them to try again themselves.
Overemphasizing Achievement
Placing too much importance on success can pressure children excessively. On the other hand, valuing effort and personal growth over constant achievement helps children develop a healthier self-image. You help them appreciate their efforts and progress and also promote well-being and a love for lifelong learning when you encourage a balanced view of success.
Up Next: 18 Cities in the US That Are So Bad You Won’t Want to Visit
While there are many beautiful cities in the U.S. that are well worth a visit, there are also some that you may want to avoid. This is largely due to high crime rates or issues with quality of life. Here are 18 U.S. cities that you won’t want to visit.
18 Cities in the US That Are So Bad You Won’t Want to Visit
19 American Cities That Disappoint Visitors So Much They Wish They Never Went
The United States is a vast country with over 109,000 cities and towns and many popular tourist hotspots, promising visitors fascinating history, famous landmarks, natural wonders, impressive architecture, and cultural delights. But not every city lives up to the hype! Here, we explore 19 American destinations that often leave visitors underwhelmed.
19 American Cities That Disappoint Visitors So Much They Wish They Never Went
19 Signs That Say You’ve Officially Entered Old Age
Old age comes for us all, though we do our best to resist it for as long as possible. But aging isn’t only gray hair, wrinkled skin, and yelling at kids to get off your lawn. Here are 19 signs you’ve realized you’re no longer the young stud you once were!