Cats might not be man’s best friend, but they’re still one of the world’s most popular pets. These feline friends are constantly entertaining us, so it’s no surprise that they’ve inspired hundreds of hilarious jokes. Here are 19 cat jokes that are sure to make you crack a smile!
Why can’t leopards play hide and seek?
Because they’re always being spotted! In fact, the opposite is true—the Guardian reports that spots help leopards stay camouflaged in the jungle, which gives them an advantage when it comes to hunting. However, we should never let the facts get in the way of a good pun.
Did you hear about the accident-prone kitten?
It was one faux paw after another. ‘Faux paw’ is a play on ‘faux pas,’ which literally means a misstep or mistake in French. The French are a nation of cat lovers, and the country is home to the rare Chartreux breed, which comes from Brittany in northwestern France.
Why can’t cats use computers?
Because they keep trying to eat the mouse. This electronic gadget was invented in the early 1960s, although mice weren’t widespread in American homes until the 1980s. Inventor Doug Engelbart doesn’t remember who decided to call the device ‘a mouse,’ but it’s easy to see why they did—and why cats would be confused!
What do you call a cat with eight legs?
An octo-puss. This might be a great pun, but cats with too many legs are no laughing matter. This condition, known as polymelia, causes kittens to be born with more than four legs. Some people claim to have seen real-life octo-pusses, though most credible reports focus on six-legged felines.
Why are cats great stand-up comedians?
Because their jokes are hiss-sterical. Unfortunately, a hissing cat probably isn’t practicing for their upcoming Netflix comedy special. Hissing in cats is usually associated with pain, discomfort, or stress, so be sure to check up on your feline friends if they make this noise.
Why do big cats always win at games?
Because they’re cheetahs. These African-dwelling felines don’t actually have a dishonest bone in their bodies; their name doesn’t have anything to do with their talent for card tricks. The word ‘cheetah’ is derived from ‘Chita,’ a Hindi word that refers to these big cats’ distinctive spots.
Why did the cat go to the vet?
Because she wasn’t feline very well. Cat owners in the U.S. take the health of their furry friends very seriously. According to data from CBS News, Americans generally spend over $1900 on vet bills during their first year of owning a cat. This covers procedures like microchipping and spaying.
What’s a cat’s favorite brand of cereal?
Mice Krispies. Interestingly, some cats actually enjoy eating human cereal. However, while it’s normally safe for cats to eat small portions of cereal, this shouldn’t ever make up a large part of their diet—sugary cereals can cause your cat to gain weight, while some felines struggle to digest gluten or grains.
Did you hear about the kittens who stopped being friends?
Now, they’re always so catty about each other. It makes sense that rude, passive-aggressive behavior is described as catty, as felines aren’t exactly the gold standard when it comes to making friends. It can take up to a year for them to accept new cats, and that’s a best-case scenario!
A cat walks into a bar…
… and orders a shot of vodka. After the bartender serves him the drink, the cat pushes the glass off the bar. Then he looks at the barman and says, “I’ll have another.” This joke’s origin is unclear, but it accurately sums up the feline obsession with knocking things over!
Why do cats love Beethoven?
Because he wrote ‘Fur Elise.’ This composition is probably Beethoven’s most famous piece, but did you know that it wasn’t actually published during the musician’s lifetime? A music historian discovered the sheet music forty years after Beethoven’s death—imagine if someone had accidentally thrown it away!
Why did the ancient Egyptians love cats?
Because they helped build the purr-amids. In fact, cats were very popular in ancient Egypt because it was believed that they brought good luck to their owners. Wealthy owners pampered their cats and dressed them in jewelry, and some cats were even given the honor of being mummified after their deaths.
What’s the smartest kind of cat?
A purr-fessor. However, even cats that haven’t earned a diploma at a fancy college are capable of thinking for themselves. Purina reveals that cats have about 300 million neurons in their cerebral cortex (the problem-solving part of the brain) and that one cat even managed to learn to play the piano!
Why do felines love the weekend?
Because they don’t have to work on Cat-turday. In reality, most cats don’t have to work at all—most of them sleep for between 13 and 16 hours a day. However, cats can be employed: in Britain, a cat called Larry has been Chief Mouser at 10 Downing Street since 2011.
Another cat walks into a bar…
… and the barman asks, “What’ll it be?” The cat spends a while looking over the menu, before he finally makes a decision. “I think that meow-be I’ll try the whisker sour,” says the cat. We just hope this cocktail is non-alcoholic, as alcohol can be fatal for felines in the real world!
Why does Garfield hate Mondays?
Because he has a bad cat-itude. Garfield is pop culture’s most famous feline, and he’s inspired movies, merchandise, and even a short-lived Canadian fast-food franchise, says thestar.com. However, Garfield isn’t loved because he’s a ray of sunshine—he might hate Mondays most of all, but he’s grumpy every day of the week.
Why was the cat happy when his annoying neighbors moved?
Because the dog days were over. The expression ‘the dog days’ is only vaguely related to canines; it refers to the time when Sirius (the Dog Star) is visible in the sky. This is an uncomfortably hot time of year—we’re as happy as a cat in a dog-free neighborhood once things cool down again.
Why was the magician fired?
Instead of pulling a rabbit out of a hat, he pulled a rabbit out of a cat! The proper version of this trick’s origins are shrouded in mystery, but adriansalamon discusses how it’s thought that the Swiss magician Louis Apollinaire Christian Emanuel Comte was the first to pull it off in the early 1800s.
What do Parisian cats say when tourists pet them?
Meow-ci pour l’attention. If you want to make friends with Parisian street cats yourself, it’s best to visit Montmartre Cemetery in the north of the City of Light. You’ll have to climb up a hill to get there, but you’ll find dozens of friendly stray cats waiting for you near the top.
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